When I tell people I am a disastrous cook they roll their eyes heavenward and say, "Oh Eva, it can't be that bad."
Oh yes it can. Take last night for example.
The new semester has just started for Nemo and he has been working incredibly hard. When it became clear that he wasn't going to be home in time to give CJ his bath (a duty I am shamelessly trying to shove off onto poor Nemo) I put on my big girl pants and decided to Handle It.
Nemo finally got home just as I was getting CJ in his jammies, and when I sat down to give CJ his bedtime bottle Nemo sat down at the kitchen table to do MORE work. A little part of me said, "Hey what about my dinner?" but most of me was pretty empowered from doing bedtime on my own, so I decided to keep on Handling It. Once CJ was in bed I set about making dinner.
Meatball hoagies were on the menu, but someone (I won't say who) forgot to pick up sub buns.
Plan B: What we call "Ghetto Chicken Parmesan", which is spaghetti with chicken nuggets and melted mozzarella. I already had the spaghetti cooking when I realized that we didn't have any chicken nuggets either. Dangit.
Plan C: Spaghetti with meatballs. I started browning the frozen meatballs in a pot, only to realize several minutes later that the plastic spoon I was using was much shorter than it had been when I began. So that's what the weird whitish stuff in the pot was! Not fat from the meatballs; melted plastic spoon.
Plan D: Dump the ground beef leftover from taco night into the sauce and serve it up. Drink a beer.
And that, friends, is why I am not the primary cook in this household.