Monday, June 3, 2013

Mr. Noodle's Assassin and Other Possible Career Choices

You guys. I sort of fell down a rabbit hole that was filled with colicky baby, precocious toddler, and my body weight in chocolate. Somehow, with the help of many friends and family members, I have come out on the other side. Baby Noni has outgrown her colic, CJ is still precocious but very sweet, and summer weather has finally arrived. So all is well!

When I was in the rabbit hole several people told me I needed to take some time for myself in order to recharge my batteries. So prove I was listening, here are some careers in which I have been dabbling lately:

1. Michelin Chef
I may be using a bit of hyperbole here, but I totally made fish for dinner the other night, and it was not of the breaded stick variety! (In case you can't tell which is the fish in the monochromatic meal pictured above, it's the one on the right.) I used this recipe for Lemon Garlic Tilapia. It was pretty foolproof and no one died of food poisoning.

2. Athlete
Due to the aforementioned body weight in chocolate that I consumed during my first few months postpartum, I have actually gained <mumble mumble> pounds since Noni was born. Kinda the opposite what one should be going for after having a baby. I'm not quite ready to give up the chocolate, so I have taken up running in order to counteract its effects on my midsection. I've been running regularly since the beginning of April and treated myself to these spiffy new shoes for keeping it up. Lately, I've been running 3.25 miles about 3 times per week. Nemo and I are planning on running a 5K together in June.

3. Secretary
CJ loves his letters and numbers like a tween girl loves Justin Bieber. He talks about them All. The. Time. He recognizes all the letters in the alphabet and knows numbers 1-10. When we go out on errands he loves to tell me all the letters he sees. "See B! See W! See 5! More 5!" he shouts from the back seat. Anyway, his current favorite pass time is to dictate to me. He sits in my lap and demands that I write down all the letters and numbers (and sometimes shapes) that come to his mind. Then he takes it from me and signs it with a flourish.

4. Assassin
After Noni was born I introduced CJ to Sesame Street so I could focus on Noni occasionally (ok, most of the time). Of course he became obsessed with a certain little red monster. I started getting a lot of Elmo dvds from the library so I could have CJ be distracted whenever I needed. Everything was going great until one day CJ developed a paralyzing fear of the recurring character Mr. Noodle.

Is it the mustache? No, a lot of his favorite people have facial hair. Is it the bow tie? No, he thinks the Doctor is cool. Is it the fact that he doesn't talk? No, Noni doesn't talk and he seems to like her. It's a complete mystery. Now when I put in a dvd in order to try and get something done CJ will start hysterically screaming, "Mommy! Mommy! Away Noodle! No Noodle!" Then I have to drop whatever I am doing and rush to the living room to make Mr. Noodle go away with the remote (which CJ calls the "Elmote", by the way).

5. Archaeologist
At several points in our  house's 100-year history, some genius thought it would be a great idea to paint the doorknobs. This is the door that goes from the kitchen to the basement and I didn't what a shabby-looking door in our nice new kitchen, so I took it upon myself to remove all the paint from the metalwork. Even with some pretty powerful paint stripper it took wayyyy longer than I thought it would. Eventually I abandoned the chemicals in favor of picking away at the paint with a roofing nail. Painstaking stuff, let me tell you. But in the end I succeeded! Now I just have to sand and repaint the door and we can put it back where it is supposed to go!

1 comment:

  1. Hi! I just stumbled upon your blog and you are hilarious. Your family is adorable. Several posts have caused me to laugh out loud and my housemates must think I'm looney. And this particular post has taken the cake. *chuckle*
    God bless!