Friday, March 7, 2014

The Rap Sheet (7QT)

Linking up with Jen, as per usual.

CJ has always been studious, even as a baby.

Curious about higher math at 10 months old. Not staged.

When he discovered letters and numbers about year ago he became the quietest little nerd you can imagine (I use the word "nerd" very lovingly). All day long he would sit at the dining room table doing letter puzzles or writing on his magnedoodle. 

"What terrible twos?" I asked myself rather smugly. It seemed my little dear was going to skip over that bit.

Except he didn't.

Recently something shifted in his little head and all of a sudden there are hijinks galore up in here.

Here's a selection of the mischief he has gotten into this week:


A half-stick of butter was thawing on the kitchen counter in preparation for making frosting, and guess what happened. It was "dewishus", in case you were wondering. All 400 calories of it.

After he learned that dewishus things are stored on the counter, he pulled the rocking horse up to the same counter and used it to reach the sugar bowl, which was raided with great relish.

All of his alphabet puzzle pieces, which he used to love more than juice, graham crackers, and mommy combined? Yeah, they are all currently residing down the floor vent.

After a dinner party he climbed up onto the dining room table and tried to pour himself a glass of beer from the pitcher. Thankfully it spilled everywhere before he could actually ingest any.

Yesterday I found that he he tossed all of the storage bins of hats and mittens (that I had just organized, naturally) over the baby gate, in an attempt to bury the Pippin the Cat, who was on the other side.

During nap time one day I was siting on the couch during nap time and having a hot flash like you wouldn't believe. I was sweating through my clothes, beginning to get a dehydration headache, and wondering if it was possible to go through menopause at 29, when I realized that SOMEBODY had turned the thermostat up to 95 degrees. NINETY-EFFING-FIVE.

Leaving this one blank on purpose because I'm sure he's done something ridiculous that I haven't noticed yet. I'll get back to you.

I'm guessing this is the standard "I have a two year old" experience and right now it's a novelty for me. Sometimes it's even downright funny. But hopefully my crime prevention techniques keep up with his law breaking skills, otherwise we are going to be in BIG trouble.
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Postscript: There's more Humblebee on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Hope to see you there! Especially on Instagram. I love Instagram.


  1. I really hope it's OK that I'm laughing out loud, ridiculously enjoying picture CJ doing all of these things. It's adorable when they aren't yours, and I am trying to muster some empathy for you - but the picture of him eating that butter...I just can't stop giggling :).

    I do hope it passes quickly though, if only for your sake! If it doesn't, will you promise to keep posting posts about his antics? You'll be glad to have them someday, I just know it! ;)

    1. Ha! I'm so glad you enjoyed it:P

      When I was writing this I forgot the best/worst one! We had to make an emergency run to the store for feminine products and while we were waiting in line CJ decided to throw the huge package of huge overnight pads like football. I think he was aiming his throw for the conveyor belt but he ACTUALLY hit the person standing in front of us in line, who was of the older male variety, who kindly picked them up off the floor and put them back on the belt for me. I died.

  2. HAHAHAHAHA! Oh. I mean. ... Not funny. Not funny at all. :)

  3. Loved this! CJ is cracking me up!