Wednesday, June 25, 2014

An Interview with a Toddler on the Eve of his Third Birthday


Exactly three years ago I was a full day in to an epic back labor that wouldn't end for another six hours. Fun. Times. But look what I got for my trouble at 3:04 in the A.M. the next day!


Interview with a Toddler

E: Ok CJ, since tomorrow is your birthday I'm going to ask you some very important questions. Are you ready?

C: Yes.

E: Ok, first question. How old are you?

C: I'm freeeeeeee!

E: You're three today? Are you sure? How old are you right now?

C: One

E: Come on, how old are you?

C: I'm twoooo!

E: And how old will be be tomorrow?

C: *Gasps* My happy birrrrthday!

E: Yes, but how old will you be on your happy birthday?

C: Eighty-two!

E: Um, no, you're not eighty-two. Who is eighty two?

C: *grins* Gigi! (My maternal grandmother, who did indeed celebrate her 82nd birthday this month).



E: CJ, where do you live?

C: In mine house. It's yellow and brown.


E: And what is your favorite thing to do?

C: I don't know...that says "do". (I gave him  his own copy of the questions and he was busy trying to read it and thus not very focused on the task at hand).


E: What makes you happy?

C: Mommy! (Awwww...)


E: And what makes you sad?

C: I don't know. I just....1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.....(reading the questionnaire again). 


E: Ok fine. What makes you scared?

C: Chick-fil-a. (He climbed way up in the play structure there a few weeks ago and was too scared to come down.)


E: what is your favorite book?

C: Old McDonald book

E: Which one is that? (we don't own such a book).

C: I don't know.

E: Ok, which story do you want me to read at bedtime tonight?

C: Two stories.

E: But which ones??? Do you want me to read you "War and Peace"?

C: Yeah.


E: Who do you love, CJ?

C: Mommy! (Awwww!!!)1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 . . .


E. Great...now, what do you want to do for work when you grow up?

C: Be math teacher!!! (ya think???)


E: What does Daddy do for work?

C: She do math. He do math. (We're working on his pronoun confusion. He used to call everyone "she" since he spends all the time with me and Noni, but he's starting to correct himself now.)


E: What does Mommy do for work?

C: She do math!!!

E: Nooo...what does Mommy do all day?

C: I don't know. I'm going to be math teacher.

E:  And what does Noni like to do?

C: Math.

E: But what does she like to play with?

C: I don't know, I'm writing right now. (Sure 'nuff)


E. Ok, tell me this. What is the meaning of life?

C: I don't know. That says "who".

E: But what is the meaning of life?

And then we went off on a really wild tangent and never got back to the meaning of life. I was kinda disappointed that he didn't say "math".
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Postscript: There's more Humblebee on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Hope to see you there! Especially on Instagram. I love Instagram.

Friday, June 20, 2014

PLOT. TWIST.

My battle cry these days.

Apartment hunting sure is a lot more complicated than I remember. I guess not being anywhere CLOSE to the city we are hunting in is one of the main complicating factors. As is moving to a place that is actually experiencing economic growth (that's a new one for me) and thus has a competitive rental market.

When we visited a few weeks back on an apartment hunting mission, by some miracle we found a three-bedroom that wasn't icky and was available when we needed it. We were thisclose to signing the lease and I had announced the happy news on Facebook, then I got cold feet at the last minute because

a) No garage. Which I hate.

b) Only one bathroom. Hello, IBS.

c) On the second floor, no elevator

d) Only 1000 square feet, which wouldn't leave much space for my sewing stuff

All first-world problems, I'll grant you.

It wouldn't matter so much but for the fact that Nemo's new job requires longer hours and more travel than we are used to. It's going to be a huge lifestyle change from home at 4:30pm every day and having summers off. Plus it's in WISCONSIN, where I hear the winters are not so fun. The thought of being cooped up in a tiny second floor apartment with a new threenager and the Queen of Sass herself, neither of whom are good at climbing lots of stairs and are even less good at helping clear mountains of snow off the car, with no Nemo to rescue me at the end of the day was really more than I could bear.

As I try to write this.

So back to the drawing board we went.

I've been glued to Craigslist for the last two weeks. We lost out on a great opportunity last week and everything else we've found is SUPER expensive. Like three times what we spend on our house now.

Have I mentioned that the movers are picking up our stuff on June 30? Ha ha ha ha. Oh. Crimeny. We're doomed.
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Postscript: There's more Humblebee on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Hope to see you there! Especially on Instagram. I love Instagram.