Friday, February 13, 2015

{SQTs} It's OK, because...

This post contains seven things, so I thought I would link up with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum. Totally legit.

So here I am, steadily limping my way through the third trimester.

And I do mean "limping". I have two pregnancy-related conditions that make it difficult to walk, and unfortunately treating either one of them tends to make the other worse so...I'll be on the couch if you need me.

At this point in my previous pregnancies I was neck-deep in finalizing my birth plans. After two unmedicated labors, I'm so over the "natural birth or bust" thing. I think Jenna at Call Her Happy said it best on her Facebook page when she said her birth plan was, "epidural and get baby out".

So, with the birth plan squared away, I am spending what spare energies I have coming up with an after-birth plan. Ew, that actually sounds kind of gross. Maybe it's better to call it a postpartum plan. Yeah. Let's go with that. 

Given my experience with postpartum depression the last time around, I have been more than a little bit anxious about the possibility of history repeating itself. Luckily, my post-hospitalization therapist, who was the best therapist in all the land, taught me a very helpful game called:

"But it's ok, because..."

Basically, when I'm freaking out, I have to hit pause and think of ways to complete that sentence. Stops an imminent anxiety attack like THAT. For me, anyway.

So, I'm freaking because Ender might be colicky
because I might get depressed
because I might not be able to sleep
because what if I'm not cut out for three kids?

Whew, take a breath. Those things might happen,

 But it's ok, because...I will not be breastfeeding.

I had breast reduction surgery in 2004, and while I knew this made exclusively breastfeeding my children a near impossibility, I was still determined to give CJ and Noni as much breastmilk as possible. This involved a lot supplements and prescription medication that messed with my head, round the clock pumping that messed with my sleep, and a constant sense that I still wasn't doing "enough".

Breastfeeding difficulties are strongly associated with the incidence of postpartum depression. True story. So Ender will be formula-fed from the start. No apologies. No regrets. It might not prevent a relapse of PPD, but it will certainly cut down on my stress level, which will help a lot.

 But it's ok, because... I'm closing my Etsy shop.

This decision was a tough one, but ultimately it will be for the best. While I still dearly love the creative aspect, the business end of the shop has always caused a lot of stress for me. So I am going back to sewing for fun for the time being. Or I might finally have a date with the mending pile. 

My shop will remain open through Saturday, February 28. After that I will put the shop in "Vacation" mode and I'll decide at a MUCH later date whether or not I will be coming back from that vacation.

I'm trying to offload some of my inventory before the shutdown to help pay for my trip to Edel, so I have discounted dresses to $25/shipped and onesies to $15/shipped. Get 'em while they last!

{3}But it's ok, because...
This here's a spring baby

Noni was born in the dead of winter, which made it hard to engage in the colic-busting activity of walking. We specifically planned tried for a spring/summer baby because that way, if we ended up with another baby who needs to be walked 12 hours a day, I can at least enjoy some fresh air.

{4} But it's ok, because...
I won't be pregnant anymore.

I have a bad habit of making up a future that stars my present self--who is pregnant and enjoys all the many lovely symptoms of that condition. Sure, I will have a newborn to care for, and it will be hard, but I will not have to do it while also contending with SPD, varicose veins, indigestion, lower back pain, food aversions and cravings, or the inability to roll over without assistance. That's a happy thought.
{5} But it's ok, because... 
I have family and friends who love me

Obviously I had wonderful people in my life before, but I had some sort of mental block that prevented me from "inconveniencing" them with my problems. Well that block is GONE, people.

{6} But it's ok, because... 
The kids are alright 

When Noni was born, CJ was still very much a baby and required constant interaction, supervision, and care...none of which I could provide, given Noni's colickiness. Now I have two "big" kids who can survive on fruit and string cheese and two diaper changes a day if need be.

Sure, they may WANT a lot of individualized attention but they are also content to watch a two hour block of SuperWhy! Also we splurged on tablets for Christmas, so...we're all set for a worst-case scenario.

{7} But it's ok, because...
Zoloft exists.

 My OB has been informed of my previous difficulties and she's got her prescription pad ready for me, should I need chemical intervention. She would actually prefer to put me back on Zoloft before the baby is born, but to be perfectly honest while Zoloft makes me feel pretty great mentally and emotionally, it makes the rest of me feel pretty crappy. So we're going to take it day by day, and if it turns out that I DO need it to cope, it's just a phone call away.

 photo Signature1_zps6ee36174.jpg

Postscript: There's more Humblebee on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Hope to see you there! Especially on Instagram. I love Instagram.


  1. Those are all great postpartum plans! By the way, I have been wanting to make a purchase (or several) from your shop for a while now, so expect an order soon. Like tonight, once I have a few minutes. AND you don't have to ship anything!

  2. AND expect a few freezer meals from us once babe arrives! We owe you BIGtime :-)

  3. I LOVE this post. Please, please, please, please, please let us help in whatever way you'd like! I see some Noni/CJ babysitting in the future!

  4. Love this post! I'm planning on adopting your "it's okay because" in my postpartum future too, thanks for this.

  5. God bless you! I'm so SO glad you're doing well and have this plan in place :)

  6. I wish I had this tool with both my babes. Sounds like you already have a handle on post-postpartum. I am so glad to read this. May your delivery and after be easy!